I am not Jackie Chan
We are not Herald and Kumar
I’m not Chinese
That is just a small list of things people called me on my time off.
(As a site about culture, I’d like to spend some time reflecting on when personal culture hits the outside world.)
Ignorance vs. Stupidity
Usually I like to think that people’s borderline racist acts are marked more by ignorance (just not knowing better) rather than stupidity (knowing better and acting silly anyways).
However, this is not always the case. (Click through to see the picture I am referencing.)
From angryasianman.com
Is there some way of separating the two cases (ignorance and stupidity)? I’m going to say no for the sake of this discussion. (But this could be a point of discussion.)
Assuming that you can’t…
Problem: How do you deal with people engaging in questionably racist behaviour?
Intentionality
My first thoughts go towards intentionality: Do people mean to be cruel or hurtful when they are performing such actions?
As we are a society that believes thoughts behind actions make them bad, for the most part at least, it seems we need to uncover the thoughts behind people’s actions to see how to respond to them.
Again we have the same problem as before where we can’t separate good intention from bad intention just based on the act.
I’m going to bring it back. Let’s just assume people don’t know any better. They are just good ol’ ignorant (ign’ant).
Possible solutions
If a child were acting foolishly, as a parent, it would be your duty to correct them. In this case…
Possible solution #1: Call people out, tell them what they are doing wrong. Tell them why it is wrong and suggest some alternatives.
A pretty ballsy move, if you ask me. This doesn’t mean that it’s the wrong one, in fact, this may mean that it’s the best one. But let’s continue forward.
Even if you are a more laissez-faire parent, you still have to let your child make some mistakes. You don’t tell your child that the kettle is hot, he just touches it and learns the quick and painful way. Is there some analogue to this?
Possible solution #2: Bring the person/people into a crowd of steroid-pumped mixed martial artists of the race in question. Let them run their mouth(es). They will be burnt. Lesson learned.
This solution seems pretty good to me, but most of my friends are pretty non-violent. In fact, I would say that I’m the most violent one, and I’m writing a blog post right now, so that should say something.
Let’s shift perspectives away from being parents to being contemporaries. Let’s say the people in question are the same age and class as us, more or less. Again we could call them out, as in solution #1. However, we could also…
Possible solution #3: Reciprocate. They make imply something about your eyes, you imply something about their skin.
While this does seem overly-childish, I have used this tactic (though not with race) to make a subtle point. People don’t always see what the are doing wrong unless they have it reflected on to them.
Most likely though, the people in question are not your friends or family or even peers, but random strangers you have just met on your vacation to the Dominican Republic who think it’s alright to call you Harold because you are hanging out with a brown guy.
In this case you might end up with solution #4, the lamest solution.
Possible solution #4: Laugh awkwardly and do nothing.
In defense of myself, I have to say that I am still not quite sure how wrong these actions are. And from that it’s hard to know how to act. Still however, I felt a little off at the time, and that should have been a huge sign to me.
So what do you think?
- When are these actions wrong? And how do you know?
- What would you do about it?
- What should people do about it?
If you have any other comments, bring them on. Even white people too, you know I love you guys.
To be honest, I still haven’t resolved this in my own mind and would love some perspective on this.
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
To me, intent is paramount. Someone can make a comment that one person finds offensive, but that person had no intent to offend. Then education is required, that is, explaining to that person why what they are saying is offensive. As a rule of thumb, if you can’t explain why it’s offensive, you may have to consider the possibility that you shouldn’t be offended in the first place.
If the intent is to insult, belittle, disparage, then you have to deal with it differently. Calling out the person publicly to make them feel ashamed of their actions is one way. Depending on the environment, there may be a third party who can police these actions: police, teacher, boss, parent, etc. This might result in some sort of punishment being imposed on the person. The downside to this approach is that it often will only make someone angry about having been punished rather than making them understand what they did wrong.
Reciprocating can, as you said, make the person reflect. Another way to make the person reflect is to just state in words what their position is and let them hear how it sounds. One technique, which should be used carefully, is to not “fight back”, accept the insult and state it is true in a self-deprecating sort of way. This can make the other person feel guilty and revoke their comment.
Racism is a very difficult thing to deal with. There are cases where it’s just a matter of being ignorant or making off-hand pejorative remarks, and tougher situations where people truly believe negative things about people of a certain race/religion. The latter is more challenging because a little self-analysis probably won’t change their opinions and remove their prejudice.
I generally agree with what Shan said, recognizing intent is the primary determinant of the nature of your next actions. In most cases it should be fairly obvious. Anything directed at you with malicious intentions must be responded to in some way - you cannot do nothing, so eliminate your 4th proposed solution.
As always, we should strive to see individuals and not race. The societal goal of the elimination of racism is a noble endeavor, however, it is ultimately not possible. Racism will exist so long as it remains intrinsic human nature to recognize people who don’t look like us.
@Linus: I agree about seeing the individuals and not just the race. Much of my offense to such comments is not that it harms some group that I may belong to, but rather that it does not acknowledge me as a distinct non-Jackie Chan individual.
@Shan: Although I fully believe intent is important, as I said in the post, there is a part of me that sees certain actions as so forceful in their nature, or at least through repeated custom, that even with the best of intents, they should be stopped.
Dropping the N-bomb is going to get you in trouble. Even with the purest of intentions, the danger of such a word means it would be best avoided.
It’s understandable why someone would call you Chinese. I bet even Asians find it difficult at times to differentiate at a glance among different cultures of Asian…so I’d chalk this up to ignorance. You being Jackie Chan and Harold? For sure that’s stupidity. But when it comes to the question of ignorance vs. stupidity in the context of racism, I don’t really bother to classify because my response would be the same to a racial jab that’s motivated by ignorance or stupidity - that’s your “possible solution #1.” I think it was Ghandi who said “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” At least with solution #1 there’s a chance, no matter how slight, that person will think twice in the future about perpetuating racist remarks, but Reciprocating will almost for sure lead to perpetuation.
I think Mother Teresa said it best in a poem:
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
Where did you go?
I think Asians really overestimate how easy it is to tell apart a Korean from a Chinese from a Vietnamese. It’s like asking you to differentiate between a Bengali, an Afghan, a Tamil and a Punjabi.
That said, when I stood in a line at the Incheon International Airport with people from Hong Kong and people from Korea, I was amazed at how clear the difference was.
I’ve been called Turkish, Puerto Rican, Indian and American here. I am none of those things. They simply don’t know, and I don’t make a big deal about it. Amazingly enough, no one has made any hurtful remarks. If they did, I would correct them, just as I would (and have) corrected children who have made similar remarks, whether intentional or not.
Man, these are some very insightful comments.
I also got a nice reply from the webmaster at Angry Asian Man:
How to tell people they sound racist
@Ryan: I like the ideas and quotes. I am continuing to reflect on them.
@Adeel: I went to the Dominican Republic. I’m not that offended by being called Chinese, as it happens so often.
@Both Adeel and Ryan: I am glad to see you are forward enough to be able to correct people, even with innocent mistakes. I will be working on this.
The problem posed in this post is about how to deal with [other] people engaging in questionably racist behaviour, which is an awesome discussion, but I think it’s important to combine this with challenging ourselves about how race factors into how we think about situations and other people, or even our own complicities when engaging with others (full circle!).
It is really hard confronting these things (power, privilege, prejudice) about ourselves and trying to figure out what to do next, but it’s a necessary step for a holistic solution. Like the Ghandi quotation, let’s strive to become honest and accountable to ourselves as well as others.
Josh, it’s not that forward. I only make factual corrections and either I say that it’s a ridiculous thing to say, or I laugh in a way that indicates the person went too far.
@Adeel: Maybe it’s our difference in mentality that makes it easier for you to correct people. I am delving into the world of emotion and insulting people (in my mind) and yours is purely a factual thing. Hmm.
@Laura: I will openly admit my mind is laden with stereotypes and prejudgments of people, and not just others, but those within my various “in-groups”. Also a curious idea is being harsher to your own group than to others, maybe because you expect more.
In either case, it is something I still need to work on. Again, tying this back to a previous comment about recognizing the individual, maybe that’s what I (and we) need to do: cultivate more time seeing people for who they are rather than as a part of a mass of people.
I need to get out more
josh, as i think we’ve discussed before, i’ve been the recipient of racist comments that were made about other people i care about. and while i do have a privileged status in society and i can’t say i’ve received racist comments towards myself, this situation was also really hard to handle. ultimately, i still really regret not being stronger about it at the time and confronting the person right then and there.
there are so many complications that can be thrown into this equation, like who is saying the comment (some douchebag on facebook, or your boss), whether it’s directly insulting your race or another, and the sliding scale of how blatant or hinting the comment is. and let’s not forget how frustrating it can be, when you do confront the person, to hear “it was just a joke!”
also, if you haven’t already, you may be interested in reading about the invisible backpack: http://www.uakron.edu/centers/conflict/docs/whitepriv.pdf